Most digital products distract us. They shorten attention spans. They make us self-promotional.

This is an experiment to try something else.

Meaningful connections take time and effort. Yet strong interpersonal relationships are the best predictors of health and happiness.

The challenge: create a small, private, and self-defined community by reclaiming a product you already use – email. The goal is add space for more meaningful messages that enrich your life, creating more surface area for connection between in-person meetings.

The challenge

Select a group of people from your life that you’d be excited to have a meal with. Some may be people you see often; some may be people you haven’t talked to in years. You might pick only a few people, or many — it’s up to you — just select a number you’re comfortable with.

  1. Write an intro message announcing your “experiment” (you can use that word or not). That message can include however you found this page, including linking here. Say something about why you’re doing this and, ideally, commit to an initial number of messages. You can bcc or cc people. Click send.

  2. Write the first message at most one week after your intro. A good topic is one that you would be excited to talk about during a really good conversation. Try your best to avoid being performative or transactional. Ask at least one question. And however many people you’re sending to, treat the message as if it is a 1:1 email to each person. Click send.

  3. At a cadence you can maintain, write and send the next message. Topics can be on a single theme or they can all be different. You can be more personal or more professional. A blend can work well.

  4. At the end of the sequence, please reply below and let us know how it went. If you want feedback or help sooner, reach out at any point.

FAQs

  • The main thing is to announce that you’re doing this challenge. You might include the following components:

    • That you’re participating in this experiment, linking to this site if that makes it easier.

    • A sentence or two about why you’re doing this — that could be because someone asked you to participate, or because you thought it was cool, or because you’re pissed off at Mark Zuckerberg.

    • A description of the number of messages and cadence you’re planning to send.

  • A good topic is one that you are interested in, especially if you want feedback about it. It could be:

    • A reflection on an interaction with a family member.

    • Something unexpected that happened professionally.

    • A question you had when reading an article or book.

    • Anything you’d be excited to have a conversation about over a great dinner.

    You are not writing something perfect or for the whole world: it’s just for you and the people on your list. A good message will probably be a couple hundred words and won’t take you longer than an hour to write.

  • We’re interested in new models for using the internet, especially to foster community and more meaningful connections.

    Much current work about the present and future internet is depressing and negative. This is an effort to not just complain but instead to something actively positive.

  • This is a personal project by Nathaniel Lubin. It is not for any formal organization or company.

  • The truthful answer is that we don’t know — it depends on you. Maybe nothing, maybe something bigger. If you have an idea, send a comment.

Contact

Finished a round of the experiment, have a question, or want feedback? Let us know.